The Positively Astounding House
by Pistachio Muffin
Summary: With the barrier broken and monsters now free to roam above ground, Sans and Papyrus are looking for a new home. However, the humans haven't exactly welcomed the monsters with open arms. It isn't until Papyrus finds an odd house with and interesting color palette that they finally find someone willing to take them in. (Sans x Fem Reader) (Papyrus x Mettaton EX)
1. Chapter 1

Sans let out a small sigh as he watched his brother sprint ahead of him, eager to show him the 'positively astounding' house that he had found all on his own. It wasn't that Sans wasn't interested in seeing the house, he just wasn't interested in seeing his brother's disappointment when the door was slammed in his face as it had been to his so many other times. Ever since coming to the surface Sans had been having a tough time finding a place for him and his brother to stay. It wasn't due to any lack of money, he and Papyrus had both managed to snag jobs at some fancy clothing store down town and made decent paychecks (monsters were good for deterring thieves), it's just that most human's weren't too inclined to letting monsters rent out their spaces. The only reason he and Papyrus had a place to sleep right now was because Toriel had been kind enough to let them crash on her couch.

"Sans hurry up you lazy bones!" Papyrus yelled, snapping Sans out of his train of thought. Looking up Sans laid eyes on the house that Papyrus had so desperately wanted to show him. It was a small house, a little dated, hidden mostly behind the abundance of large trees growing around it what made it stand out, however, was its unique pastel orange exterior. Unlike every other house that looked relatively identical to each other only varying in their limited shades of grey or beige this one actually seemed to have some character.

"Isn't it great Sans?" Papyrus asked excitedly bouncing up and down with anticipation, "it's the perfect color and everything."

"It's defiantly got that going for it," Sans looked at a sign taped to the gate out front.

 _Roommates Wanted: Two bedrooms available - $400 a month per room – pet friendly._

"Price isn't a skele-ton either..." San grinned.

"Sans!" Papyrus shot his brother an aggravated look, "this is no time for your silly puns, this is serious business." Papyrus straightened his back and pushed the front gate open, "I have a room to mate."

Sans couldn't help but chuckle as he followed his brother up to the front door, which was painted an odd teal color. "Bro, why don't you let me handle this," Sans suggested shuffling to get ahead of Papyrus.

"I, the Great Papyrus, can handle this on my own thank you very much," he stated, wrapping his knuckles on the door before Sans could reach the doorbell.

The two stood silent, waiting for a response. An uncomfortable amount of time passed, "I don't think their home bro" Sans glanced down at his watch, 7:35 am.

"Nonsense," Papyrus started ringing the door bell, "I'm sure their just getting themselves ready to meet me."

Without warning the door slowly creaked open, "Hmm..." a raspy voice mumbled, Sans had to lean around Papyrus to see who it was. In the doorway stood a girl who had obviously just woken up; her short hair was sticking up in every direction, what looked to be a bed comforter was still draped around her shoulders, even her eyes were closed.

"Ah jeez didn't mean to wake ya-" before Sans could finish apologizing Papyrus cut in.

"Human! I, the Great Papyrus, and my brother, Sans, are interested in partaking in 'roommating' with you," Papyrus announced proudly.

The girl nodded, "yah" turning away she started trudging back inside the house "...come."

Papyrus nudged his brother in the shoulder, "just let me do the talking."

Sans could only stand in disbelief as he watched Papyrus march after the human. That went a hundred times better than he could have ever hoped, deciding not to look a gift horse in the mouth he stepped inside.

Sans quickly found himself sitting at the kitchen table with Papyrus looking around excitedly while the girl made herself some coffee. Her movements were slow and she was still yet to open her eyes. After about five minutes of waiting she flopped down in the free chair at the table and took a sip of her coffee.

"Human," Papyrus started, "as stated before we are interested in roommating with you."

The girl nodded slowly, taking another sip of coffee.

Sans decided that he should probably cut in, "uhh... yah like my brother said were interested in those two rooms you have available and we were wondering if you'd be willing to rent them out to us."

Papyrus crossed his arms, obviously offended by Sans butting in.

The girl took another big sip from her mug and then set it down on the table, wiping her mouth off with the blanket she had draped around her. Slowly she opened her eyes, taking a look at the both of the brothers.

Sans clenched his fist, knowing what was about to come next.

"Sure, but don't you want to take a look at the rooms before you commit?" she asked, unfazed by their appearance.

Sans blinked, a bit startled by her lack of it, "Uh, yah...I guess that'd we-."

"Of course, Human!" Papyrus interjected, throwing Sans a triumphant smirk now that he had retaken the conversation.

"Heh," the girl gave a small laugh and stood up "this way" she started towards a staircase outside the kitchen.

Papyrus shot up, hurrying to stand behind her; Sans slid out of the chair and strode after the two, taking time to look around at the house. Beggars can't be choosers but he still wanted to know what he was getting into.

The girl took the two upstairs, showing them first what Papyrus decided would be his room. It was about the size of his old bedroom but the walls were covered in a...unique...red wallpaper, which immediately won him over.

While Papyrus was busy inspecting his room-to-be the girl walked Sans down the hall to what he assumed would be his room.

"Uh...Sorry about waking yah up so early," Sans apologized, scratching the back of his head, hoping that they had not started things off on the wrong foot.

The girl gave a tired smile, "it's fine, I...meant to get up early anyways." The girl opened the door and shuffled inside, "it's not as big as the last one but it's got the best Wi-Fi connection in the house."

Sans looked around, the room had a comfortable feeling about it, maybe it was just the funky wall paper or maybe it was just the smaller size of the room but he liked it. "It's perfect," he looked back at the girl, "by the way...I never got your name."

The girl smiled shly, holding a hand out "it's Crevan."

Sans took Crevan's hand and shook it, "nice to meet ya, roomie."

"Holy boloney...Sans! Come look at my closet! It's huge!" Papyrus called from down the hall.

"On my way bro," Sans replied before looking back at Crevan, "not to rush ya but...when can we move in?"

"I'll go get the paper work and as soon as that's finished you guys can move in today if you want," Crevan replied happily.

* * *

 _ **NOTE:** Right now this story is sort of up in the air, so I'm free to take an suggestions that people may have._


	2. Chapter 2

Sans sat idly at the kitchen table, slowly flipping through the pages of that day's newspaper. It was early, maybe 4am? He hadn't bothered to check a clock on the way down. His eyes skimmed over the front page article…

 _More information on the time before the barrier has come to light, historians are working to put the pieces back together. It still baffles many how such important and long lasting historical content could be lost in such a short span of time, many are suspecting…_

Sans flipped the page.

It had been almost 6 days since him and Papyrus had moved in and to be honest it wasn't that different from how it had been underground; already one of his socks had found a spot next to the couch in the living room (much to Papyrus' dismay).

Well, there was one big difference, Crevan.

Sans finished skimming over the rest of the articles in the newspaper, nothing that really stood out. Getting bored Sans flipped to the crosswords and took a pencil out of his pocket before leaning back and propping his feet up on the table. Crosswords helped him think and he needed to do a lot of it.

To be honest he didn't know how to feel about Crevan. Paps and her got along well, they had become pretty quick friends after Papyrus discovered her stash of board games and puzzles under the stairs but still…there was something that was off about her…Just as Sans was about to get analytical the back door swung open, jolting him out of his train of thoguht.

Crevan stood in the doorway in fisherman's coat and boots both of which were covered in mud, her damp hair was sticking up in every direction. She looked beyond tired and….maybe a little bit frightened? Most importantly she seemed to be hiding something under her coat.

"Oh... ah… hi…," Crevan greeted nervously.

"Hey….there," Sans replied slowly, not entirely sure what the proper question to asked would be. An uncomfortable moment of silence passed between the two before Sans decided to try and break it, "Are you alri-"

"Sans!? Where are you!" Papyrus cut him off from upstairs, he must have gone to wake him up.

Looking away from Crevan for a moment he turned his head to call upstairs, "Down here, Paps!" Yet, when he turned his head back to the door she was already gone.

"Where…." Sans blinked and then looked at the ground, a trail of muddy footprints led out of the kitchen. He head the distant sound of a door closing upstairs.

"SANS! Why is there muddy footprints everywhere!?" Papyrus asked angrily making his way into the kitchen

"Not sure….did you just pass by Crevan going upstairs?" Sans asked, eyes still fixed on the foot prints.

"What? No, she's probably already gone to work," Papyrus walked over to the pantry and took out a box of Captain Crunch that had Papyrus' name scribbled in marker between Captain and Crunch.

"Huh…" Sans look towards the stairs. It was official, there was defiantly something off about her.

"Sans! Did you even hear me just now?" Papyrus asked as he sat down at table with his bowl of cereal.

"Oh…no sorry Paps, I'm a little spaced out," Sans turned to his brother.

"Well, as I was saying, Crevan has offered to teach me the extremely hard to master skill of 'fishing,' tomorrow since we have the day off. Of course it shouldn't be too hard for me, the Great Papyrus, to master," he ate a scoop of cereal and continued, "she also offered to teach you as well."

"Oh?" Sans blinked, a little bit surprised.

Papyrus nodded as he swallowed another mouthful of cereal, "It'll be super fun."

"Whale herring you sound so excited I guess I cod fit it into my schedule…" Sans smiled.

"Good, I'll tell-" Papyrus stopped and gave his brother a look of complete and utter disgust before standing up, "I'm…I'm going to go get dressed, right now."

"Ah come on Paps, I couldn't just let that oppro-tuna-ty pass me by" Sans smile grew wider.

Without another word Papyrus left the kitchen and headed back up the stairs. Sans snickered to himself before folding up the newspaper and shoving it into his pocket.


	3. Chapter 3

"SANS!" Papyrus banged on Sans' door excitedly, "WAKE UP WE HAVE TO LEAVE SOON."

Sans groaned and rolled over to look at his alarm clock on the floor, 6:00am. With another loud groan Sans pulled a pillow over his face, "why do we have to get up so early for this…."

Papyrus, getting annoyed, opened the door just enough to stick his head through "SANS! Are you waking up?"

Sans pushed the pillow off his head and sat up, "Yah, yah…I'm up…I'll be down in a minute…" Satisfied with his response Papyrus nodded and close the door. With a sigh, Sans dangled his feet over the edge of the bed and rubbed his eye sockets, taking a few seconds to collect his thoughts.

Eventually (with a lot of effort), Sans stood up an slipped on his slippers before walking towards the door, grabbing his jacket off the floor as he went.

Heading downstairs slowly he paused, looking over the pictures covering the wall. Some were drawings, maps, others were pictures of what Sans could only assume was a young Crevan sitting next to some old lady, maybe a relative? There were other pictures too but Sans didn't really feel like looking over them all.

Shrugging he looked away from the picture and towards the kitchen. Something smelled good. Sans entered the kitchen to see Papyrus at the stove making eggs. He had gotten a lot better at cooking since coming to the surface, Toriel had taken it upon herself to teach him after trying his spaghetti for the first time. Still…Papyrus was having a hard time accepting the fact that glitter and sprinkles couldn't be added to everything. Sans noticed Crevan was already up and seated at the table abet face down and snoring, a fishing hat with the words "Fishing Professional" written in sharpie had been placed on her head.

"Finally, you're awake," Papyrus smiled, "I'm making my world famous eggs."

"Egg-celent," Sans grinned as he took a seat at the kitchen table.

"Of course they ar-," Papyrus shot Sans an angry look and turned back to the stove.

Sans chuckled an looked across the table at Crevan, who had decided to lift her head up off the table. It took almost everything Sans had not to laugh at how ridiculous she looked with the 'Fishing Professional' hat covering half her face with some of her hair sticking to the drool on her chin.

"Morin' sunshine," Sans greeted. Her head tilted to the left slightly, whether it was nod or her falling back asleep Sans couldn't tell.

"She just waiting for the coffee to be made," Papyrus explained, "I swear she's worse than you about getting up."

"I see…" Sans nodded as he pulled the folded up newspaper from yesterday out of his pocket, he never did get to finish his crosswords. Scrolling his eyes down the paper Sans found where he last left off an continued.

For a good ten minutes while Sans was working on his cross word the kitchen was silent expect for the occasional sputtering of the coffee maker, the sizzling of eggs on a frying pan, and Papyrus' humming. Sans wondered if weekend mornings with these two were always this…calm, seeing as he usually didn't wake up till noon on weekends…

"Prepare yourselves for my world famous eggs have been cooked to utter perfection, so much so that I dare say you may never have anything as great grace the buds to your taste ever again" Papyrus announced proudly, he had already made everyone a plate and was heading over to the table.

"I'm super egg-sited to try them," Sans smiled, filling in the last word of the puzzle before lowering it to look up at his plate. Yet, instead a plate being in front of him it was Crevan sitting cross-legged on top of the table, sipping at a cup of coffee.

"Hi."

Sans let out a surprised yelp as tried to back up, his chair started to tilt backwards causing him to flail widely as his hands looked for something to grab onto.

Crevan leaned over the table to look at Sans, who was now splayed out on the floor "Oh…man I didn't mean to scare you like that."

"Nyeh, heh, heh, you should see him when you scare him awake from a nap," Papyrus snickered as he set the plates on the table.

Sans quickly stood up, a small bit of blue tint on his cheeks and a hand over his chest, "a-ah jeez Pap" he picked the chair back up and set it up right, "don't rat me out like that."

"Stop taking naps at work then!" Papyrus scolded as he took his seat at the table.

"Paps come on, I'm just so egg-hausted sometimes," Sans said with a fake yawned before dawning one of the most shit-eating grins imaginable.

Papyrus looked about ready to flip the table over, Crevan couldn't help but to start giggling.

"Human, you cannot possibly think that these unbearable egg puns are funny," Papyrus whined while looking extremely betrayed.

"Looks like we cracked her up, eh Papyrus" Sans insisted, nudging Papyrus' arm.

At this point Crevan had to cover her mouth with her hand to keep from laughing pieces of scrambled egg all over the table.

"I CAN-NOT believe this is the amount of professionalism I am being FORCED to deal with right now," Papyrus stood up, "I am going upstairs to get dressed, when I come back down I expect BOTH of you to be ready." With that Papyrus exited the kitchen and could be heard stomping upstairs.

"Heh, he'll never admit it but he loves my jokes," Sans beamed.

Crevan had to take a sip of coffee before she could answer, "you two are funny."

"Ah, so it wasn't my jokes that made you laugh?" Sans asked, trying to sound put out.

"N-no, those were funny too," Crevan assured.

"Heh, I'm just playing with ya'," Sans grinned and waved his hand, Crevan blushed slightly embrassed.

"By the way…" Sans gave Crevan a quizzical look, "why were ya' sittin' up on the table anyway?"

Crevan tapped her head, "I was watching your eyes."

"My eyes?" Sans repeated, not really understanding what she meant.

"Yah, the little white dots, they were moving all around while you were reading."

"Oh," Sans blinked, both of his pupils were gone, "how 'bout this?"

A shiver went up Crevan's spine, "I..I like the other look better."

Sans blinked, restoring his eyes back to normal, "most people do…" Sans stood up, "well I'd better get ready before Papyrus comes back down."

"Don't you wanna finish your breakfast?" Crevan asked, eyeing Sans' plate.

"Nah…I'm not that hungry," Sans turned to exit the kitchen but paused. It seemed as if something had caught his attention.

Crevan watched him silently as he stood in the doorway with his back turned.

"Hey…" Sans tilted his head to the side, not yet turning around, "I got another question for ya', you don't have to answer it you don't want to…"

"Oh…alright," Crevan felt suddenly uncomfortable with the situation.

Sans turned his head just enough to glance at Crevan, his pupils had disappeared again, "why were you out so late yesterday?"

Crevan froze, quickly glancing towards the back door. An eerie silence fell between the two.

Crevan quickly stood up, almost tipping the chair over, "I'm going to go get dressed." Without even looking as Sans she darted past him towards the stairs.

Sans watched her almost trip over herself going up the stairs, "I probably shouldn't of done that…."


	4. Chapter 4

The only thing Sans really had to do to 'get ready' was put on a pair of sneakers instead of slippers and tuck the laces in his socks, something he could do in less than a minute but he decided to wait awhile before coming back out. He needed to actually take a second to think about everything before making another stupid decision that might get them evicted.

Crevan was odd, no questioning that, but was it a bad thing? Not really. Was he probably being a big paranoid? Yes. Was what just happened in the kitchen not his best decision? Probably. Was the whole 'out in the middle of the night right after it had been raining' thing sort of suspicions? A little bit.

Sans stood up and walked towards the door, he didn't want to spend too long upstairs, he knew that Papyrus was already waiting on the front porch for the everyone else. Letting out a big sigh Sans walked out into the hallway.

He started towards the stairs but paused as he passed Crevan bedroom door. Inside he could hear the repetitive rubber squeak of rain boots going back and forth. Being a bit nosey Sans leaned a bit closer just in time to hear the squeaks coming towards the door.

Panicking, Sans took a step back, accidentally stepping on the shoe laces he always tucked into his socks.

Crevan opened the door.

"Oh, ah, hey Crevan " Sans quickly tried to stand back up but managed to trip on his shoe laces once again. "I-I ah, was just walking by, ah…"

"Are you alright?" Crevan stooped down in front of Sans.

A blue tint brushed across San's cheeks, he couldn't think of a time he had been more embarrassed. "Nah, I mean not no to being fine but like no to being not fine, ya' know?" Sans kicked himself mentally, all he wanted to do was teleport back to his room and disappear for the next thousand years.

Crevan snickered and held out her hand, "Well, do you need some help up?"

"Oh-ah," Sans hesitated for a moment before taking her hand, "Thanks."

Crevan pulled Sans to his feet and let go of his hand, "It's cool."

Sans watched as Crevan pulled her hand from his, it was really warm. The only other time he had touched a human was when he shook hands with Frisk, but their hand had been so cold…

Sans shook his head and started towards the stairs, "we should, uh, get going. Papyrus is gonna get annoyed if we don't hurry up."

Crevan nodded an hurried to walk besides Sans as they headed downstairs. Sans couldn't help but be a little surprised at her demeanor…considering earlier. Not knowing exactly what to say or do as they walked next to each other Sans looked, again, towards the ungodly amount of pictures on the wall.

"So, um," Sans fumbled with his words trying to find a good conversation topic, "how…how long have you had this house?"

Crevan paused for a moment, "Not terribly long, I inherited it from my grandmother when she passed away…," Crevan view glided over the pictures, "but I'm pretty sure my family has owned this house and the surrounding land since forever pretty much…"

"I see…" Sans nodded as he opened the front door, he wasn't sure if he had hit a sensitive topic or not.

* * *

"SANS! Speed up, were almost there!" Papyrus encouraged impatiently as he waited for Sans to catch up.

Sans smiled and waved his hand, "I'm still reeling from those stairs, bro."

"PUNS DON'T MAKE PROGRESS!," Papyrus stamped his foot

The lake that Crevan was taking them too apparently required a bit of hiking to get to, Sans was not prepared for that.

"It's right around this bend, we're pretty much there I promise" Crevan reassured, she could see he was pretty exhausted.

Papyrus was almost vibrating with excitement as the group approached the lake and Crevan set down the supplies she had been holding, "This is usually a pretty good spot."

Papyrus sprinted to the water's edge, almost falling in as he quickly leaned over to look in. " Crevan we need smaller poles the fish are so…tiny," you could hear a small twinge of disappointment in his voice.

Crevan giggled, "those are just tadpoles and minnows, the big fish are further out."

"Oh!" Papyrus jumped up "I should get started immediately then!"

Sans took a seat on a large rock near the edge, he knew he was a little out of shape but jeez. He watch Crevan help Papyrus get set up, it didn't take long considering she had gone over everything during the drive. By the time he got the bait on the hook Papyrus was so ready to start that he almost threw the rod into the water trying to cast.

"When I capture my fish what shall I do with them?" Papyrus asked, not taking his eyes off the bobber.

"Take a photo of course!" Crevan stated, "and then probably let them go…but we're defiantly going to take a photo first."

"Yes, of course! Great idea Crevan" Papyrus agreed.

Sans smiled, he liked watching Papyrus have friend. Laying back he stretched, it wasn't the most comfortable spot but considering some of the places he's taken naps in before it wasn't too bad.

Crevan leaned over into Sans' view, "Not gonna fish?"

"Oh, a-ah" Sans could feel himself starting to blush, "I mean I could give it a try, I'm not sure if I'll be very…"

Crevan laughed, "don't worry about it" she took a seat next to the rock, "fishing isn't everybody's thing."

Sans sat up, he didn't know what to say next. Talking to humans was so hard when really all the shared conversation topics you had summed up to just a couple months of awkward human-monster relations.

"SANS! CREVAN! I GOT ONE!" Sans jumped and looked to his left. Papyrus was cradling a fish about the size of a small human child, it was wriggling around furiously trying to get out of his grasp.

Sans turned to Crevan "Do you see the size of th-" he froze. She wasn't there. He quickly whipped his head back around, Crevan was bouncing with excitement right next to Papyrus. Sans clenched his fists.


End file.
